Never Simple: A Memoir
- Downloads：3839
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-03-10 11:21:45
- Update Date：2025-09-07
- Status：finish
- Author：Liz Scheier
- ISBN：1250840341
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
GG
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I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway。 I wish I could give this book a 10 star rating。 I am not sure where to start。 I can relate to soooo very much to the emotions that Liz shares with us。 This book should be read by anyone who has had a less than normal childhood。 So many emotions to work thru， so many times to talk down the guilt， the fears that you’ll be the same type of parent… and then the internal turmoil at the end。 Thank you to Liz for sharing。
Heidi
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I blew through the book in two days， held aloft by Scheier’s gusts of anger and her take on her unfathomable mother-daughter relationship， some elements of which are familiar to me。 I’m still processing my reaction， other than to say I’d like to read round two of this book written ten years hence， after the inevitable composting。
Tina
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I literally couldn't put this book down。 I have a lot in common with the author， she grew up on the upper east side and I grew up on the upper west side。 We both went to prep schools on scholarships。 We both had crazy mothers。 But I have to admit that her mother was crazier， and wouldn't hide her crazy whereas my mother hid hers and showed only her ugliest side to my father， my sister and myself。 The story is so crazy that you might question it even all happened。 I think the saying "you can't ma I literally couldn't put this book down。 I have a lot in common with the author， she grew up on the upper east side and I grew up on the upper west side。 We both went to prep schools on scholarships。 We both had crazy mothers。 But I have to admit that her mother was crazier， and wouldn't hide her crazy whereas my mother hid hers and showed only her ugliest side to my father， my sister and myself。 The story is so crazy that you might question it even all happened。 I think the saying "you can't make this shit up。" applies here。 。。。more
Kathy
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Never Simple is a beautifully written story of the relationship between a mother and daughter that raises important questions about what one's obligations are to an abusive and mentally-ill family member。 Liz Scheier approaches these questions with honesty， nuance and her trademark sense of humor。 Highly recommend， but be warned， this book kept me up past my bedtime several nights in a row。 Never Simple is a beautifully written story of the relationship between a mother and daughter that raises important questions about what one's obligations are to an abusive and mentally-ill family member。 Liz Scheier approaches these questions with honesty， nuance and her trademark sense of humor。 Highly recommend， but be warned， this book kept me up past my bedtime several nights in a row。 。。。more
Jenny Lawson
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Poignant and beautiful and heartbreaking。 A beautifully written memoir ala The Glass Castle。
Leslie
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Much to say about this memoir- beautifully written， honest， raw。 An examination of a mother/daughter relationship strained by borderline personality disorder。 Liz was raised by her mother， Judy in New York。 She found out as a freshman in college that much of their life was a lie。 Liz's story illustrates the complicated emotions that already exist between mothers & daughters with the added burden of a mental disorder diagnosis that Judy let slip， but explains so much as Liz grapples with her trut Much to say about this memoir- beautifully written， honest， raw。 An examination of a mother/daughter relationship strained by borderline personality disorder。 Liz was raised by her mother， Judy in New York。 She found out as a freshman in college that much of their life was a lie。 Liz's story illustrates the complicated emotions that already exist between mothers & daughters with the added burden of a mental disorder diagnosis that Judy let slip， but explains so much as Liz grapples with her truth。 。。。more
Lauren
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This was like two different books for me。 I found the first half riveting and then it completely stalled。
Erica
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Never Simple was gripping - I don’t always love memoirs or first person narration but I consumed this book in 2 days and will think about Scheier’s portrayals of herself， her mother， and the people in their lives for a long time。 Scheier’s stories of her mother and their life together are enraging， horrifying， forgiving， furious， touching， tragic， loving， and， even at the end， mysterious。 They tell us something broader about relationships with people we love and are worth returning to。
Brianna Miller
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This was an interesting memoir that delved into the relationship between a mother and a daughter - but was unique in the fact that the mother suffers from borderline personality disorder。 While I expected the memoir to be as harrowing as books like Educated and The Glass Castle， I would say it was not nearly as intense as either of those books。 However， I think this book provides a great insight into what it's like to be a child that is being raised by a parent with mental illness。 I'm sure that This was an interesting memoir that delved into the relationship between a mother and a daughter - but was unique in the fact that the mother suffers from borderline personality disorder。 While I expected the memoir to be as harrowing as books like Educated and The Glass Castle， I would say it was not nearly as intense as either of those books。 However， I think this book provides a great insight into what it's like to be a child that is being raised by a parent with mental illness。 I'm sure that readers who grew up in similar situations will relate to many things in this book。I thought it was well-written and really shows how that mother-daughter relationship can impact all areas of the child's life - from childhood into adulthood - and especially how it can impact the child's other relationships throughout life。While some parts of the book were a little slow， overall I thought it was a really interesting read and would recommend it to anyone that has an interest in memoirs relating to growing up in unusual circumstances。Thank you to NetGalley and Henry Holt and Co for the eArc of this book in exchange for my honest review。 。。。more
Erin
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This is the first memoir I've read written by _someone I know_。 As a result it was entirely surreal and I am in no way an unbiased reviewer。 In fact， I was privy to many of the details in the final years of Liz's mom's life， plus the big breakup Liz experienced， as they happened。 Liz is a masterful writer。 It was also fun to identify the people I know in the story （like Claire！）。 This is the first memoir I've read written by _someone I know_。 As a result it was entirely surreal and I am in no way an unbiased reviewer。 In fact， I was privy to many of the details in the final years of Liz's mom's life， plus the big breakup Liz experienced， as they happened。 Liz is a masterful writer。 It was also fun to identify the people I know in the story （like Claire！）。 。。。more
Gunjan
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I don't really read memoirs but this one was read over a weekend。 The writing is lucid， captivating and witty。 Living with a strict mother and a desire to find more about the absent father， Liz slowly uncovers facets of her life and her mother's that are indeed 'never simple'。 Written in a matter- of-fact manner with comic undertones， this book was unlike any I have read in my life。 I don't really read memoirs but this one was read over a weekend。 The writing is lucid， captivating and witty。 Living with a strict mother and a desire to find more about the absent father， Liz slowly uncovers facets of her life and her mother's that are indeed 'never simple'。 Written in a matter- of-fact manner with comic undertones， this book was unlike any I have read in my life。 。。。more
BookBlanketFort
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This is a unique memoirs about the author’s experience as the child of a mentally ill and abusive single mother。 But it is broader than that。 It’s the story of what it is like to be an only child of an unstable mother throughout each stage of life。There are a few things that set this apart from similar memoirs。 First， there is a strong sense of place in the author’s childhood in New York City in the 90s。 Second， the author weaves her Jewish faith throughout the book。 Third， the author spends a g This is a unique memoirs about the author’s experience as the child of a mentally ill and abusive single mother。 But it is broader than that。 It’s the story of what it is like to be an only child of an unstable mother throughout each stage of life。There are a few things that set this apart from similar memoirs。 First， there is a strong sense of place in the author’s childhood in New York City in the 90s。 Second， the author weaves her Jewish faith throughout the book。 Third， the author spends a good deal of the book investigating her deceased father， whom her mother has lied about throughout the author’s life。 This author’s strength is painting images with her words。 I loved experiencing New York through her words。 She compellingly described the push and pull of an abusive parent。 It is difficult to adequately explain this type of complex relationship， and the author does it well。 。。。more
Melanie
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There are elements of this book that I really like and can identify with。 My husband’s ex-wife has BPD and I’ve seen the damage done to his daughter by a mother who can’t really function。 The understanding of that and the challenges for a child and a grown woman were really insightful; however I found that at times this book was melodramatic and I wanted to rush through the overly dramatic narrative quickly。 Sometimes the story telling was compelling and at other times It felt stilted。 Overall， There are elements of this book that I really like and can identify with。 My husband’s ex-wife has BPD and I’ve seen the damage done to his daughter by a mother who can’t really function。 The understanding of that and the challenges for a child and a grown woman were really insightful; however I found that at times this book was melodramatic and I wanted to rush through the overly dramatic narrative quickly。 Sometimes the story telling was compelling and at other times It felt stilted。 Overall， I am glad I read the book and I hope that Liz will continue to write and mature as a writer。 Great potential。 。。。more
Emily
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I was blown away by this book。 It's an inside look at the intense， destructive relationship between a daughter and her mother， and how the relationship shaped the daughter's life。 I stayed up way past my bedtime to finish it， and I think you might， too。 I was blown away by this book。 It's an inside look at the intense， destructive relationship between a daughter and her mother， and how the relationship shaped the daughter's life。 I stayed up way past my bedtime to finish it， and I think you might， too。 。。。more
James
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this book is great 。 here is an amazon link to it if you want check out https://amzn。to/3htzwoT this book is great 。 here is an amazon link to it if you want check out https://amzn。to/3htzwoT 。。。more
Jess
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This book will leave you either grateful for the oddest of family quirks or prepared to tell your own tale of woe and hopefully redemption。 Scheier’s asides will keep you smiling even as she reveals the broken heart of a child yearning for what normal might be - how parents are supposed to love and care for their children and let them fledge， rather than stifle， control and unknowingly abandon。 I loved this book and the humor and vulnerability the author shares will make you love her。 The way Sc This book will leave you either grateful for the oddest of family quirks or prepared to tell your own tale of woe and hopefully redemption。 Scheier’s asides will keep you smiling even as she reveals the broken heart of a child yearning for what normal might be - how parents are supposed to love and care for their children and let them fledge， rather than stifle， control and unknowingly abandon。 I loved this book and the humor and vulnerability the author shares will make you love her。 The way Scheier moves through time， from high school to childhood， to references to the present and back all telling the wholeness of a story full of holes will make you keep reading。 。。。more
Teresa Holthaus
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First， I want to thank Goodreads Giveaways and Henry Holt Company for the advance readers copy。。。I usually don't read memoirs。 That said。。。I really enjoyed this one！ It was well written and held my attention throughout。。 Strongly recommend this book！！ First， I want to thank Goodreads Giveaways and Henry Holt Company for the advance readers copy。。。I usually don't read memoirs。 That said。。。I really enjoyed this one！ It was well written and held my attention throughout。。 Strongly recommend this book！！ 。。。more
Maryam
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3。5 rounded upHeart touching and eye-opening memoir。 Scheier writes in such a way that makes you feel that you are actually there， experiencing these life events with her。 Her mother laid a bomb on her by telling her there is no record of her being born， and her real father is deceased。 But she wouldn’t elaborate and thus the search for who her father was and any living family members begins。 Topics of mental illness， identity， and sexuality are some of the subjects touched on。 My only qualm: th 3。5 rounded upHeart touching and eye-opening memoir。 Scheier writes in such a way that makes you feel that you are actually there， experiencing these life events with her。 Her mother laid a bomb on her by telling her there is no record of her being born， and her real father is deceased。 But she wouldn’t elaborate and thus the search for who her father was and any living family members begins。 Topics of mental illness， identity， and sexuality are some of the subjects touched on。 My only qualm: the many ways that one can commit suicide。 Being a suicide survivor myself and having lost my own father to it， I didn’t particularly like this part and almost DNF’d it。 Thank you Henry Holt publishing and to the author for my ARC in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Emily Hewitt
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4。5 stars。 I won an advanced reader’s copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaways。 I have a feeling this book will become a best seller。 It was well-written and the story itself was emotional and interesting， to say the least。 The author had an incredibly turbulent relationship with her mother and describes how her mother’s bizarre behaviors impacted her life from childhood through adulthood， including her friendships， romantic partners， and the journey to becoming a mother herself。 This memoi 4。5 stars。 I won an advanced reader’s copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaways。 I have a feeling this book will become a best seller。 It was well-written and the story itself was emotional and interesting， to say the least。 The author had an incredibly turbulent relationship with her mother and describes how her mother’s bizarre behaviors impacted her life from childhood through adulthood， including her friendships， romantic partners， and the journey to becoming a mother herself。 This memoir makes readers contemplate how abusive and/or mentally ill family members can be feared and despised yet also simultaneously loved and appreciated。 I think readers who enjoyed Educated and/or The Glass Castle will also enjoy this book。 。。。more
Drea
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A memoir about a woman’s life with her mom who is mentally ill diagnosed with borderline personality disorder。 I have a family member with BPD and the author’s descriptions of the symptoms took my breath away - spot on。 If someone with borderline doesn’t want to learn skills to overcome this illness they will continue to live in a precarious situation - which is what happens in this author’s life。 She describes the ups and downs that come and go and breakneck speeds with which her mom’s temperam A memoir about a woman’s life with her mom who is mentally ill diagnosed with borderline personality disorder。 I have a family member with BPD and the author’s descriptions of the symptoms took my breath away - spot on。 If someone with borderline doesn’t want to learn skills to overcome this illness they will continue to live in a precarious situation - which is what happens in this author’s life。 She describes the ups and downs that come and go and breakneck speeds with which her mom’s temperament and circumstances change。 A touching memoir and one I won’t soon forget。 Heartfelt thanks to Henry Holt and Co for the advanced copy。 。。。more
Carin
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Liz and her mother， Judith， lived in a 3 bedroom 3 bath apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan， half a block from Central Park。 But let me stop you right there before you start imagining some fancy， entitled existence。 This was closer to the neighborhoods of Morningside Heights or Yorkville than to where Charlotte lived on Sex and the City。 It still could have been very nice for some people。 But they were not Some People。Judith was abusive。 She was very emotionally and verbally abusive bu Liz and her mother， Judith， lived in a 3 bedroom 3 bath apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan， half a block from Central Park。 But let me stop you right there before you start imagining some fancy， entitled existence。 This was closer to the neighborhoods of Morningside Heights or Yorkville than to where Charlotte lived on Sex and the City。 It still could have been very nice for some people。 But they were not Some People。Judith was abusive。 She was very emotionally and verbally abusive but she also hit Liz who would sometimes hide from her in the back of closets。 Her mother took her bedroom door off the hinges to try to prevent Liz’s escape from from wrath。 And anything could and would set her off。 Wildly unpredictable （except if a stranger or service person used her first name！ That was the kiss of death with Mrs。 Scheier！）， she made Liz’s life pretty hellish。 And she was it。 She was a single mom。 Liz had no siblings to band together with and no second parent to ally with。When Liz asked about her father， her mother told her about him。 Or… well… as Liz later discovered， her mother told her a bunch of lies。 At first not even the name was right。 And Liz didn’t have a birth certificate （！！！） so it was hard to double-check things。 But that was the biggest life lesson she learned from her mother over the years–corroborate everything。 She tried to do some research on her own but until the internet， that was pretty futile。 As an adult， she eventually hired a forensic genealogist and did learn a lot。 But before that， she was in a couple of terrible relationships that she didn’t recognize as terrible （perhaps because she’d had no role models？） She did marry a wonderful guy in the end， who even understood truly everything with her mother。Judith eventually tells Liz she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder， which does seem to fit， although Liz is understandably skeptical of everything her mother tells her。 Even after Liz is married and living in DC， her mother continues to be a daily if not hourly thorn in her side， as she stops paying her rent and develops some dementia and refuses all offers of any kind of assistance except exactly what she wants。 When Liz starts to be pulled down with her in eviction proceedings， she finally fights back。So this is a story of a hellish family。 It’s not a big family， but it’s a family of lies， abuse， and more lies。 Come for the schadenfreude。 Stay for the horrific spectacle。 Liz luckily is a fantastic writer who is now wedded to the truth more than anything， making this a riveting and harrowing memoir。 。。。more
Zeldy Rosenberg
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Read it in （basically） one sitting。 Compelling story would definitepy recommend。
Lydia Wallace
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This book reminded me of my childhood。 Liz Scheier is such a great writer。 I could feel the hurt between mother and daughter。 I think all mothers and daughters have complex relationships， but this relationship was very hurtful and painful。 Liz Scheier's mother took complication and made it into an art。 As a child， Scheier took for granted that her mother's moods could be mercurial and her anger could be seismic。 There was always the lingering question of who Scheier's father was， especially sinc This book reminded me of my childhood。 Liz Scheier is such a great writer。 I could feel the hurt between mother and daughter。 I think all mothers and daughters have complex relationships， but this relationship was very hurtful and painful。 Liz Scheier's mother took complication and made it into an art。 As a child， Scheier took for granted that her mother's moods could be mercurial and her anger could be seismic。 There was always the lingering question of who Scheier's father was， especially since her mother's stories about him seemed to vary。 As Scheier works to uncover the truth， she discovers just how complicated her childhood was and how difficult her relationship with her mother will become。 I was always afraid of how my mom would respond to me。 She could be so sweet but go off the hinge in a single second。 I grew up dealing with that throughout my youth and adult life。 It still effects me to this day。 I really enjoyed this book as it hit so close to home。 I highly recommend this book。 Very well written。 。。。more
Janilyn Kocher
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Scheier spent years sleuthing through her mother’s fabrications to discern the truth about her paternity and so many other things。 That was the part of her memoir that I enjoyed the most。 Her relationship with her mother was very fractious and full of discord。 I empathized with her difficulties with her mother and all she has to deal with。 It’s a very revealing memoir and a touching one。Thanks to Henry Holt and NetGalley for the early read。
Nona
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No birth certificate， lies about who your father is， a mother that takes “helicopter mom” to an extreme。 Liz grows up knowing all of this as she tries to navigate her way to adulthood。 The love she felt for her mother in spite of all she lived with and the guilt felt when not doing her mother’s bidding as an adult child， leads her to make decisions keep her family safe - and the guilt continues。 As one critic states， “heartfelt” and very difficult to put down。 Excellent memoir。
Michelle
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From a very early age Liz Scheier realized instinctively that her mother truly loved her， never missing a school event， field trip， class party， and was actively involved in the PTA。 Judith Scheier wasn’t like other mothers: her exuberant happiness could shift suddenly and erupt in a boiling anger where Liz became the recipient of a terrifying attack of verbal or physical abuse。 In this intense and courageous memoir， “Never Simple” （2022） Liz Scheier recalls an unconventional mother daughter rel From a very early age Liz Scheier realized instinctively that her mother truly loved her， never missing a school event， field trip， class party， and was actively involved in the PTA。 Judith Scheier wasn’t like other mothers: her exuberant happiness could shift suddenly and erupt in a boiling anger where Liz became the recipient of a terrifying attack of verbal or physical abuse。 In this intense and courageous memoir， “Never Simple” （2022） Liz Scheier recalls an unconventional mother daughter relationship that was centered around Judith’s unpredictability from her drama， exaggerations， the untruths of fabrication， and the unending pain of confusion and deception related to mistrust。The truth was that Judith Scheier could be just as sweetly charming as she was devious， often using her extensive legal knowledge to fool and intimidate others， claiming to have retired early from a profitable law practice。 As a child， Liz yearned for any knowledge about her absent father， to see a picture of him， would this mysterious shadow father ever come to visit his loving and forgiving daughter？ Judith simply refused to discuss him。 Liz was raised in Orthodox Judaism， with Judith’s warnings to maintain distance from all Christians—according to her， Christians were mainly responsible for the Holocaust and the mass genocide that claimed the lives of their relatives。 In young adulthood， her rabbi assisted Liz in obtaining a legal birth certificate and social security number that was a requirement on FAFSA forms to apply for college scholarships。 Any papers of documentation Judith had was falsified。 Liz eagerly awaited the day when she could “blast” like a cannonball from her mother’s house— and never return。After several years of emotional conflict and uncertainty， Liz’s domestic partner Laura abandoned their relationship。 Liz， seemingly relieved， had no reservations or qualms about “switching teams” and quickly began dating Arie （a close friend since high school）。 Arie and Liz were married in a traditional Orthodox ceremony。 Predictability， Judith， uninvited， dramatically crashed the wedding before the service。 It was eventually necessary for Liz to hire a forensic genealogist which brought her clarity and a peace of mind as details emerged uncovering the story of her missing father and his family。 From a distance， Liz monitored Judith’s instability due to acute mental illness and decline that led to housing instability。 Liz explained repeatedly to the social workers that emailed or called: “No， Judith could not live with her and her family or be anywhere near small children without close supervision。” As Liz monitored and advocated for her mother’s health and safety， Judith seemed to kick and scream every step of the way。 This compassionate debut memoir illustrates the power of unconditional love that ultimately shaped and strengthened Liz's own life experiences related to spirituality， love， marriage， and motherhood。 Liz Scheier， a former editor at Penguin Random House， lives with her husband （Arie） and their two small children In Washington D。C。 ** With thanks to Henry Holt and Company via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review。 "Never Simple" will be published on March 1， 2022。 。。。more
Aaron Margolis
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For me， memoirs are never pageturners， however， this book is an exception。 I often found myself reading well past my bedtime after repeatedly telling myself， “just one more page。” It’s an extraordinary story， told with brutal honesty and witticism， in a way that makes you feel like the author is sharing the story with you at a casual get-together。
Naberius
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It's typical for mothers and daughters to have complex relationships。 However， Liz Scheier's mother took complication and made it into an art。 As a child， Scheier took for granted that her mother's moods could be mercurial and her anger could be seismic。 However， her mother was also very charismatic， charming many people she encountered。 But there was always the lingering question of who Scheier's father was， especially since her mother's stories about him seemed to vary。 As Scheier works to unc It's typical for mothers and daughters to have complex relationships。 However， Liz Scheier's mother took complication and made it into an art。 As a child， Scheier took for granted that her mother's moods could be mercurial and her anger could be seismic。 However， her mother was also very charismatic， charming many people she encountered。 But there was always the lingering question of who Scheier's father was， especially since her mother's stories about him seemed to vary。 As Scheier works to uncover the truth， she discovers just how complicated her childhood was and how difficult her relationship with her mother will become。For readers who enjoyed The Glass Castle and/or Running With Scissors。 。。。more
Susan
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A searing self-portrait of 40-odd years of living under the control of a mother with acute borderline personality disorder and a penchant for lying to everyone about everything: not the ideal upbringing for a sensitive girl keenly missing the absent father in her life or， at the least， a clear picture of who he was， and what circumstances took him away from her。 A lifelong cultured Manhattanite with a law degree， good looks， and no lack of entranced male companions， Liz Scheier's mother Judith， A searing self-portrait of 40-odd years of living under the control of a mother with acute borderline personality disorder and a penchant for lying to everyone about everything: not the ideal upbringing for a sensitive girl keenly missing the absent father in her life or， at the least， a clear picture of who he was， and what circumstances took him away from her。 A lifelong cultured Manhattanite with a law degree， good looks， and no lack of entranced male companions， Liz Scheier's mother Judith， chronically unemployed （but hiding it well） nonetheless led an unnaturally isolated and nomadic life with her daughter， often on the brink of homelessness and starvation， compounded for her little girl even more tragically by a cruel emotional starvation， as well， occasioned by her mother's fragile mental state。 "Yes， she could be a monster，" Liz reflects on Judith。 "Yes， her rage and her violence were terrifying。 But more than that， I had grown up in a house with no competent adults in it。" A true survivor， Judith was as remarkable an improvisor as she was a prevaricator， until she， too， reached the end of her resources。 At this same time， Ms。 Scheier， now in a stable marriage and mothering two young children in Washington， D。C。， was truly coming into her own， career-wise and serenity-wise， having at last cut the cord that had enmeshed her singlehandedly in the unending financial and emotional maelstrom of crises that was her mother's everyday life。 Liz's brave dedication to discovering the truth about her birth father， good or bad， does not go unrewarded， either， but， at the same time， it opens old wounds and leads to a few more unanswered questions。 No easy answers， but plenty of motivation to move on and move forward。 Live long and prosper， Ms。 Scheier！ 。。。more
Meghan ReadsBooks
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